Top 10 Films I am Looking Forward to This Year

Top 10 Films I Want to See in 2014

     The year can seem long looking ahead from January.  By time you get to August though, you wonder where the year went.  The summer goes by so fast.  The spring too.  There's usually a movie out at least every other week that some of us want to see.  This year it seems to be quite a bit less than that.  I was very disappointed in the movie selections of 2013.  I used to go to the theaters every week or so.  This past year it's been maybe once a month.  People over the past decade have been saying that Hollywood has no original ideas left.  (They actually never really did.)  I'm not one of those people that goes around complaining about all the remakes (Hollywood has always done remakes), or about how teen centered movies have become.  As long as there's a good story, competently told and interesting, I find it has value.  Heck, even films I utterly despise probably have value to someone out there.

    2014 looks about the same as 2013 did.  A lot of action films this year.  Lots of eye-rollingly bad science fiction films is what sticks out the most to me.  Quite a few biopics.  A few sports films (I don't really go for those).  Lots of generic comedies that you can't decide whether you want to see them or not based on plot alone, only by who's in it.  Very very few horror films, just like last year.  As the year goes on, some of the films on this list, I may decide I don't want to see.  There are no trailers for the films that come out in the fall or winter later this year yet.  Heck, not even for the summer films for the most part!  But as for right now, here's my list.

10.  Dawn of the Planet of the Apes - July 11

     This is the sequel to 2012's Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and is set eight years after the events in the first film.  No James Franco in this one, though.  Instead we have Gary Oldman...  In fact, besides the Caesar ape character, we have a whole new cast of characters.  I wouldn't be looking forward to this if it weren't in the capable hands of director Matt Reeves (Cloverfield and Let Me In).  He's proved he can do both a massive scale destruction picture, and a smaller more heartfelt horror film, and that's about the balance one needs to go for here.  This picture looks to be very dark from the trailer I saw the other day, and until then, I'd been kind of dreading this one, as the first one was just a bit above 'okay'. 

9.  Jupiter Ascending - July 18

     As you can see, this movie at least has cool visuals going for it.  Of course, that doesn't necessarily equal a good movie.  Just look at Star Wars: Episode II.  This is a sci-fi epic from the makers of The Matrix, the Wachowskis.  The film is also written by them.  Now, the Wachowskis have been considered hit and miss since The Matrix.  I personally loved Speed Racer, others hated it.  I've not seen their last film, but I hear it was yet again a love it or hate it affair.  I expect nothing less of this.  This has Sean Bean in it.  Anyone want to bet on whether he dies or not?  Also, Mila Kunis has become a better actress than I ever thought she would.  Not a great one, but not the horrible one I thought she'd become either.  Apparently Terry Gilliam also has a bit part.  The story is an old one.  A lowly peasant is suddenly embroiled in a war she never knew about, and apparently she is the key and has some sort of destiny.  I think that's the oldest plot in the history of space opera.

8.  Into the Woods - December 25

   This one is so far off it doesn't have a trailer or a poster yet.  It's an adaptation of one of Sondheim's greatest musicals.  (He also wrote Sweeney Todd and the lyrics on West Side Story.)   The story is about a husband and wife who were cursed by a witch.  They must go into the woods, find some objects to break the spell and have a baby.  Along the way, other brothers Grimm stories are irreverently brought to life in the woods.  Of course, this is a musical as well.  The cast is very good here, which is why I'm looking forward to it, as well as loving the score.  Meryl Streep is the witch, which is excellent casting.  There's also Chris Pine, Johnny Depp, Emily Blunt, Tracey Ullman, and even the kid that played Gavroche in Les Miserables as Jack (as in 'and the beanstalk').  There's got to be a musical to look forward to every so often, right?

7.  Guardians of the Galaxy - August 1

   This one seems to get under the radar of those that only casually follow the Marvel Universe.  This film, I don't even know too much about.  It's not got a poster yet, nor a trailer.  It's got an okay cast with Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Zoe Saldana, Lee Pace, Glenn Close, Benicio Del Toro, Michael Rooker, etc.   Same director as Slither and the Thor: The Dark World mid-credits sequence.  I don't see this being as big as the other Marvel movies, as these aren't exactly top tier characters in general public perception.  Being space-based, let's hope this one does better than DC's Green Lantern did a few years ago.  Being more sci-fi sounding, I think this one should.

6.  Gone Girl - October 3

    Yet another release late this year.  This one is based on the bestselling book by Gillian Flynn.  It's about a man who's had a seemingly happy marriage... One day he announces that his wife has gone missing.  The press starts hounding him and the public eye is now on him, and it appears that he may have lied about that happy marriage.  Some start to think he may have killed his wife.  The interesting part?  The book was told from his POV, and I'm sure they do the same thing here.  It's a David Fincher film, and he likes doing movies that way.  Also, in my opinion, Fincher has never directed a bad film.  I even like Alien 3, which isn't really his since the studio took over control of that one and he's disowned it.  The cast is pretty great here too.  Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, NPH, Patrick Fugit (haven't seen him since Saved!), Tyler Perry... okay... maybe that last one isn't necessarily a positive for some people.  I think he's good in serious roles though.  I've never read the book this is based on, and I'm still excited to see it.

5.  Hobbit: There and Back Again - December 17

     I'll tell you the truth.  The first one was only okay.  The second one was right up there with the Lord of the Rings trilogy in my opinion.  I'm hoping this third one will be as well.  Apparently a lot of the third film will be based on stuff from the appendices of the Lord of the Rings books instead of The Hobbit.  I don't really have much to say about this one as there's no trailer yet and I'm still getting over how good the second film was.  It'll be sad to say goodbye to middle earth again, though.  And this time it truly will be the end.

4.  X-Men: Days of Future Past - May 23

   The last X-Men film was so good, I've really been looking forward to this one.  This unites the prequel film and the main series, which should be interesting.  I've still yet to see last year's Wolverine, so I can't say how I feel about the film in comparison to that one.  Again, the cast is a great one.  They seem to be going uber-serious for the trailer on this one, but that doesn't always mean the movie itself will be.  First Class was that way too, but had plenty of fun in it.  Bryan Singer, director of the first two X-Men films, is back at the helm for this one.  I'm a bit less excited about that than some are, but I'm not disappointed either.  I just felt First Class was the best in the series, and he didn't do that one.  Still, this is one to look out for.  I'm interested to find out what happened to Banshee here, as he's not in this one, but was a main character in First Class...

3.  The Grand Budapest Hotel - March 7

   This one will be very short.  The reason?  It's a Wes Anderson film.  These films aren't for everyone.  I know quite a few people who hate everything he does.  And know more that love everything he does.  I'm one of those, so this is on my list.  I need no other reason than it's directed by him.  He's never made a bad movie... Just like David Fincher.  And the plot to this one looks outstandingly hilarious.  (And no, I'm not a hipster.  I just like Wes Anderson.)

2.  Interstellar - November 7

    Another director that's never done a bad movie.  Christopher Nolan.  (Though I do hope it's better than Dark Knight Rises.)  This is his eagerly awaited original idea by the Nolan brothers.  Inception was so good, there's a lot of hype for this one.  The details of the project are largely under wraps, but we do know that it's about voyaging through a wormhole.  It's a movie about the unknown.  About something none of us have experienced.  Wormholes could be portals through time... through space.... to alternate realities.  We don't know.  And we don't know what Nolan is going to show us either.  I love that directors now are trying to keep us in the dark as long as possible.  (Tarantino just quit pre-production on his latest film because the script leaked!)  The cast here is pretty good, i suppose.  I'm not the biggest Matthew McConaughey fan, but I don't hate him either.   Something tells me I must see this one in IMAX when it comes out.  Will it be Nolan's first bad film, or be another in a stream of fantastic beautiful films?  I'm betting on the latter.  In a time when space travel has become something American government doesn't want to pay money to do, maybe this will bounce it back too.

1.  Godzilla - May 16

Oh! My! God!!!  I've been waiting for this for years.  It was announced a few years ago, and sat in development hell for about two of those.  I never thought it would come to fruition.  And now my dreams have come true.  An American Godzilla film (Toho in Japan hasn't made one in 10 years now.), and one that actually looks like it has Godzilla in it!  I love how the trailer takes it's queue from my favorite trailer (Alien) to show us what to expect from the film.  Looks like a lot of destruction, pretty darn serious, good production values...  Even folks in Japan seem to be pumped for this one.  After the 1998 Godzilla, we owe them.  This one probably means more to me personally than any of you all.  I'm a huge fan of Godzilla, owning all 28 films and being a fan of every era Toho made them.  (Those 28 don't count the 1998 American version.)  I think Legendary pictures has a good thing going here.  Like Pacific Rim, I'm sure it'll do better in foreign markets than here, but I expect more will see it than Pacific Rim just off the Godzilla name.  In fact, del Toro, director of Pacific Rim would like to do a cross over.  The director of Godzilla on the other hand, wants to bring in other Godzilla franchise monsters if this one takes off.  We can only hope they do both!

Runners up include Muppets Most Wanted and Captain America: The Winter Soldier.  I'm looking forward to those both, but I only had room for 10.  And the Muppets one I'm a bit less excited about than I was as they are basically remaking The Great Muppet Caper, which was the least best Muppet film.

Amazing Spider-Man 2 wasn't on the list due to my disappointment with the trailer.  I'm still hopeful, but it seems to suffer from Spidey 3 syndrome.  Let's hope not, as I loved the first one in this reboot series.

Movie Review: Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

     For those that don't know who Jack Ryan is, here's a little bit about the character.  He was created by author Tom Clancy (who died a few months ago), and had a series of nine books with him as the main character from 1984 to 2002.  In that timespan, four films were made of certain books in the series, and three different actors played the character.  The first film was 1990's The Hunt For Red October, which was also the first book.  In that film, Alec Baldwin played Jack Ryan who was trying to decide why an armed Soviet prototype submarine was heading towards America captained by a Russian Sean Connery.  It was one of the biggest hits of the year and the critics loved it.  It won an Academy Award and was nominated for two others.  Two years later, the book Patriot Games was turned into a movie, this time with Harrison Ford in the lead role as Jack Ryan.  The film was about an Irishman played by Sean Bean, who joins a more militant breakoff of the IRA after Jack kills his brother (the brother was trying to kill the the British Secretary of State to Northern Ireland)  and finally intends to kill Jack and his family as well.  The movie this time departed from the book quite a bit and Clancy disowned the film.  However it got good reviews and was a financial success.  That one was quickly followed by Clear and Present Danger with the same core cast, including Harrison Ford.  Even the director was kept.  Released in 1994, the film was again a success, was nominated for two Academy Awards, and even got better critical reviews and bigger box office than it's predecessor.  The series would lay dormant for eight years until 2002 saw the release of Sum of All Fears, this time with Ben Affleck as Jack Ryan.  Again, the story was changed a lot from the book, moving the film from the cold war to present day 2002, and changing the Arab villains to neo-fascists.  (This was not due to 9/11, as the film had been completed by that time.)  The movie was a financial success, but reviews were mixed.  I myself felt Ben Affleck was not right for the part.  He had not grown into the actor he is now.  Also, it was presented as a prequel to the other films, but takes place after them in 2002.... Doesn't make much sense, eh?  

    The character of Jack Ryan has stayed the same throughout the series, even in this new film starring Chris Pine.  Jack Ryan is a Marine (in this film, he joins due to 9/11) that gets injured when his helicopter is shot down, and his back is severely injured.  He becomes addicted to painkillers while in rehabilitation of his injuries.  He eventually gets better and is recruited to CIA.  That's about where things stand about 20 minutes into this film.

   Now this film wasn't adapted from a Tom Clancy novel like the others were.  This is an original story, and a reboot of the franchise.  It's been updated for modern audiences, since this isn't the cold war anymore.    The story starts it's real story when Jack Ryan joins the CIA doing covert work looking at money transfers that could indicate terrorist activity is going to happen or is being funded.  While there he notices that the markets aren't doing what they are supposed to do after a Russian vote failed at the United Nations.  He looks deeper and discovers that Russian assets are being put away in different areas that could cause a financial catastrophe if something, say a terrorist attack, were to happen.  So disguised as the stock broker still, he travels to Moscow to visit the company that is moving the money around and audit them.  But he's too late... or is he?   

   This may seem like too much of a techo-geek film, but it's really not.  Jack Ryan films were never really about action sequences, but there's enough here at the end to ease that hunger anyway.  These films were always more espionage and hacking than explosions and chases.  And for me, that's always better.  Like the best Bond films, they know how to balance the two here.  There's quite a bit of suspense, some human drama between Jack Ryan and his fiancé, and the cold war is even brought up again with the bad guy not forgiving the United States not supporting Russia during the invasion of Afghanistan in the 1980s.  

   The acting is pretty good here.  Chris Pine is there to look handsome I suppose, and according to my sister, he does that very well.  Kiera Knightly, who plays the fiancé is okay in her role as well, though it's nothing to write home about.  The ever-emotionless Kevin Coster (whom I'm a fan of, despite that) actually does well in his role as the recruiter/mentor of Jack Ryan.  Then there's the bad guy, played by a Russian accented Kenneth Branagh, who also directed the film.  He's the top actor here, really sinking his teeth into the part.  He even does well coming across as menacing and batshit insane, which surprised me.  (It shouldn't as I've seen him play Frankenstein...)  As for how he directs the film, well, you can hardly tell it's the Kenneth Branagh of old.  It feels like any competent director could have directed this film, but as there aren't many of those left out there, this is a plus.  There's very little shaky-cam to be had here.  The action sequences are all very good.  There's a motorcycle chase through New York city, and UNDER the city as well.  There's a car chase/foot chase through Moscow...  In fact, the film seems a bit like the Bourne films, but without the shaky-cam.  That wasn't a put-off for me as I love those films, but I can see how it could be for Clancy fans.  (I've never read the books.)  

   Still, it's a good addition to the series, a good reboot as well.  It doesn't seem to be lighting up the box office lights, coming in at 4th place on it's opening weekend.  Sadly, I don't think this franchise will be reignited.  It was a good diversion, much better than the Bourne reboot that came out in 2012.  My review may have seemed a bit negative, but I did actually really like this one.  I just don't think it's one that will be remembered much by mass audiences.

I give this one 5 stars out of 7. 

15 Christmas Greats - #3 through #1

#3 - Love Actually (2003)

     Now, I know there's been a lot of pushback against this film the last year or two, especially in the possibility of calling it a Christmas film.  Some people think the film is over-rated and evil incarnate, because it's superficial in what love is and that it's not realistic.  All I can say to these moaners is to drink Drain-O.  (I'm looking specifically at Alyssa Rosenberg at Think Progress and Chris Orr at The Atlantic.  Two of the worst social commentators in magazine history.)  The movie is very funny, it has a stellar cast, and it's miles better than most romatic comedies out there.  In fact, a lot of us consider it the ultimate romantic comedy.   The movie takes place in the five weeks leading up to Christmas following a whole bunch of people who are effected by love, or the lack thereof in the Christmas season.  Hugh Grant is a single prime minister, Alan Rickman is an office manager...  his wife in the film, Emma Thompson, is a stay-at-home mom who doesn't always feel her husband's love, Bill Nighy is an aging has-been rock star looking for a holiday single comeback, Liam Neeson is a widower taking care of his lovesick stepson, and many more recognizable faces.  

     I can see why some would dislike the film.  It's slick and polished, it doesn't really have much to do with Christmas as a holiday more than setting it at that time of year, it's version of love can be seen as superficial or even sad (as those two commenters I mentioned earlier proclaim), and it's definitely an R rated comedy.  Still, I love the film.  I watch it every holiday season, usually on Christmas Eve (watching it right when I finish this blog actually), and I still find the film amazingly funny and warm.  Heck, it's one of the movies I quote the most, and those that know me well know that I quote movies whenever I can in conversation.  I think a major problem that Americans have with the film is that the humor is British.  That is to say that there's a lot of jokes about growing old or gay people or other depricating jokes, whereas American humor is mostly sex, bodily function or slapstick based.  The English love plays on words and making fun of people whereas here the PC police have taken over.  This is why I find many American comedies so stupid and unfunny.  

     As for the film being unrealistic, I agree in part.  No goofy-looking English guy is going to come to America to Wisconsin, go to a bar and discover three fantastically hot women who all want to share a bed naked with him.  (Not unless he's offering them millions of dollars.)   The Prime Minister of Britain is not going to accidentally end up deeply kissing his personal assistant in front of an auditorium full of parents of schoolkids at a Christmas pageant.  However, I love that the film ends with not everyone falling in love.  There's one in particular that's been cheated on and is clearly no longer in love with her husband.  The rock star doesn't even enter a relationship in the film.  In that way it's more truthful.  Not everyone is going to be okay.   I'm sure most of you reading this have seen this film already as it's so popular; popular enough to have become a Christmas classic to many, actually.  And this goes for me as well.  Here's a great scene from the film concerning the aging rock star, Bill Nighy.

#2 - Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

      Here's another REAL Christmas classic.   About everyone agrees on this one, and I won't dispute it.  This movie is about the real Santa Claus taking over for a drunken fake Santa at the Macy's Day Parade, and afterwards he gets a job at Macy's as the department store Santa.  While there, those that hired him become suspicious that he may be a mental case after he suggests that he really IS Santa, especially after a vindictive psychiatrist that works for Macy's implores that Santa be committed.  Thus begins a court trial to decide whether the man is Santa or not or if there even really is a Santa.  

    Sure, the movie sounds corny and has a really odd plot, but there are very few Christmas films that don't.  Just look at the 13 films I mentioned before this one!  Despite it's oddness, it's a heartwarming, funny, and delightful film.  I just saw this movie again for the first time in about 15 years the other day.  I remembered as a kid I didn't find it that great.  It wasn't consistently funny as Abbott and Costello films were, it wasn't as full-on Christmasy as The Santa Clause or the Rankin/Bass specials.  It was just an old timey Christmas film.  Now that I'm older, I can enjoy it for what it really is.  Which is to say one of the best Christmas movies, heck one of the best 1940s movies out there.  

    The film also has a pretty great Santa Claus.  He's not fat or even as old-looking as most Santas are.  In fact, he's rather trim in this film.  Still, he's a jolly old soul and believes in the kindness and generosity of humanity.  And he loves children.  I love the scene where a mother brings a little girl she adopted from the Netherlands who doesn't speak one word of English, and Santa begins to converse with the girl in dutch.  Or the scenes of Santa bonding with the daughter of the woman that hired him.  I used to think the movie was about the little girl, (Natalie Wood, who would drown under questionable circumstances in 1981 while on a boat with Christopher Walken and her husband Robert Wagner.)  but re-watching the film,  I noticed that's not the case.   The film is 100% about the Santa character.  I believe they may have focused more on the little girl in the 1994 remake, but I haven't seen that one since it was in theaters back in 1994.  

   As you may have noticed, I've run out of words to express Christmas films.  They're so alike there's only so much you can say.  All I can is that this is much more worthy of Christmas praise than the likes of Elf, Fred Claus, Arthur Christmas, and the other holiday movies that have come out since I was born.  It's something you don't get often.  It's unpretentious but not stupid either.  It's wholesome, but still takes some radical chances (the mother is clearly a no nonsense atheist).  Watch it with your family sometime.  It rarely disappoints.

#1 - National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

     Here's one that, surprisingly, I saw for the first time just this year!  I'd been meaning to watch it for a few years now, since I loved the first two films in the series, National Lampoon's Vacation and National Lampoon's European Vacation.   Those are actually two of my favorite comedies!  In fact it was so often hearing this movie called the best in the series that caused me to NOT see it.  I was sure it couldn't live up to the other two, and well, it doesn't.  The other two are better.  Still, this one is a hilarious comedy and the funniest film on this list.

    The plot is simple.  The Griswalds have invited their extended family to their house for the holidays.  Of course more than were invited show up, including Clark Griswald's least favorite family member, Cousin Eddie.  Hilarious hijinks ensue as another Griswald vacation is nearly ruined.  And of course this time a lot of the humor is Christmas centered.  Here's one of my favorite bits. 

    I was laughing so hard at this scene.  And guys, this is how comedy is done.  A simple line or bodily function isn't enough.  In an ensemble scene such as this one, the looks and actions of those around the table are what make it so funny.   And at the end of the film, there's a bit of a reprise to this scene which is just as funny, if not funnier.  And boy does this film have the Christmas spirit.  It satirizes just about every single aspect of the holiday.  You have the family get-together that's like walking on eggshells, the dinner, the Christmas tree and finding one that's just right, outdoing the neighbors with your decorations (Home Improvement made this a theme every Christmas season), snow sledding, Christmas bonuses, even the movies that come on at Christmas.  Watching this film is like bringing Christmas into your house.  It's that good at what it does.  

     Of course the movie works in other ways too.  Part of this has to do with the Griswald family already being well-loved from two previous outings  (even though the kids are played by different actors each time).  I identify with Clark Griswald, and I'm pretty sure if I had a family and was his age, I'd be pretty much the same as he is.  (I know, not a compliment to some.)  I mean, who wouldn't react the same way the family reacts when they find a squirrel in their Christmas tree?

Oh, hilarity.  I very much recommend this film because it embodies Christmas.  And none of the scenes are even set ON Christmas!  It all takes place in the few days before the holiday!  There are a lot of families out there that try to make their Christmas perfect just as Clark Griswald does, but it never works out completely right.  (Hopefully theirs ends up better than Clark's does, though.)  If you haven't seen the film, or just haven't seen it in a few years I highly recommend you see it.  It's great fun, it's very pleasant, and it's even somewhat family friendly with just a PG-13 rating.  It's not as good as the former two films in the series, but only by a smudge as the child actors aren't as good as their predecessors and the fact that the other two are some of the best comedies out there.  At least it's apparently better than Vegas Vacation.  (I've not seen that one either.)

Merry Christmas, Kwanzaa, Festivus, etc to all and to all a good night!

15 Christmas Greats - #6 thru #4

#6 - Mickey's Christmas Carol (1983)

     I'll be a bit short on this one.  I've talked about 3 other adaptations of this classic story in this list, so I  don't have much more to say.  This one has Disney characters portraying the characters from the story.  Scrooge McDuck of course plays Ebenezer Scrooge, Mickey is Bob Cratchet, Goofy is Jacob Marley, etc.  The short film is also completely animated in classic Disney style.  In fact, this was the first time a Mickey Mouse short had been shown in theaters since 1953, a 30 year gap!  This special short was tacked on to the re-release of The Rescuers in 1983.  (Before they got into the VHS releasing business, Disney films were re-released to theaters every seven years, and 1983 was seven years after The Rescuers was first released.) 

  The short runs just under 30 minutes, and thus the story is very much condensed.  Think of it as the cliffnotes version of the classic tale.  It's also appropriately Disneyfied as it sugarcoats the more harsh aspects of the story, such as the people picking over Scrooge's house in the future or Scrooge's old relationship gone sour turning him into a crotchety old man.  The short got a mixed reception when it came out.   It was nominated for Best Animated Short at the Academy Awards, but was given two thumbs down by Siskel and Ebert, who thought it lacked the Disney magic and that it did a disservice to the story.  (Siskel and Ebert hated Disney's output up until 1985's The Black Cauldron.)

    This was always the highlight of the Christmas season for me as a kid.  This and Rudolph being shown on TV were always occasions I had to be home for in the week or two leading into Christmas.  I remember that they used to push this one into an hour long slot and play winter themed Disney animated shorts before starting Mickey's Christmas Carol.  It may be a rather lacking adaptation, but at the time it was the only way to see the classic Disney characters in action since Disney didn't air the old shorts unless you had the Disney Channel back then, which we didn't.  

#5 - Rankin/Bass holiday specials (1960s-1980s)

     Some people love these, others hate them with a passion.  Rankin/Bass was a company that made both stop-motion and animated shorts, mostly themed to holidays.  Perhaps you've seen or heard of some of their titles.  Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, Jack Frost, The Little Drummer Boy...  All of those are Rankin/Bass productions, and you can catch most of them on ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas programming.  They didn't just do Christmas stuff though.  They did three Easter ones with Peter Cottontail, they did the animated version of The Hobbit from the 1970s most of us have seen at least once, they did a feature length film with stop-motion monsters called Mad Monster Party and even worked with Toho, maker of Godzilla, on a King Kong film called King Kong Escapes!  The studio doesn't exist anymore, sadly.  They made their last special back in 1985 with an adapation of L. Frank Baum's Life and Adventures of Santa Claus.  

    When I was growing up, Rudolph and Frosty came on in the lead up to Christmas on network television.  I'd never heard of the other inventive specials the company had done until we got cable and some of them came on in the lead up to Christmas.  I fell in love with them.  My favorite then and now is one called The Year Without A Santa Claus, which is a semi-sequel to the classic Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.  If any of you saw the the horrendous Batman & Robin, you may remember a scene where Mr. Freeze is conducting his group of freezing henchmen in a rendition of the Snow Miser song.  It's a great catchy song, and is from Year Without A Santa Claus.  

And his brother, the Heat Miser, sings another version of the song about hot weather.  (It's not as catchy.)

    I think that kids like the stop motion effect.  It's something weird that we don't see often, especially not anymore.  There's an otherworldly look to it that lends itself greatly to fantasy.  Sadly, I think there's not as much fantasy in these new hastily put together ugly Christmas specials.  Also, the songs were pretty great in these things.  Usually they took at least one old song like Santa Claus is Coming To Town or Rudolph and built a fuller story around them.  Who would have thought from the Rudolph song that we'd have a story about an island of unwanted toys, a gay dentist elf, a yeti and a gold prospector?  Not I.  

     Now, not all the specials are great.  The Leprechauns' Christmas Gold comes to mind mostly.  Still, they are mainly good.  If you want a Frosty sequel, the official Rankin/Bass sequel Frosty's Winter Wonderland is much better than the environmentalist/politically correct Frosty Returns from the 1990s (which was not done by Rankin/Bass either).   

#4 - A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (2011)

    I know this one won't be everyone's cup of tea either.  However, this is my list, so there!  I love the Harold & Kumar films.  All three are great comedies, though very much on the risque side.  And I actually think this one may be my favorite of the bunch.  It's shocking, gross, obscene, and tacky while also being heartwarming, funny, cool, and an embodiment of the Christmas spirit.  And of course it has NPH in it, which always makes things better...  And the glorious Wafflebot that I wish were real.  Pancakes suck.

    Anyway, I suppose a brief plot synopsis is needed.  Harold & Kumar have not spoken to each other in years.  Harold now works for a big bank in New York City and is married to a hot woman.  Kumar is basically the same as he was in the last two films.  He lives alone in the apartment and smokes joints.  Then his ex-girlfriend tells him she's pregnant and a package for Harold shows up at the apartment door.  So he gets a friend to drive him to Harold's to drop off the package on the way to a party (where the friend is looking to deflower a girl).  Things happen and there's drug addict babies, a mob boss, avenging robot appliances, our heroes shoot Santa, a Christmas tree goes up in flames, there's beer pong and stop motion giant snowmen chasing after them... Mass hysteria.

    And that's one of the things I love about these Harold and Kumar films.  They're completely insane.   I mean,  just look at this scene.   *Warning:  There's a claymation penis.*

    Ah yes...  This about sums up the feel of the whole film.  And most of all, the movie has friggin' Wafflebot!  I mean, who wouldn't want one of these things?

    So what's so Christmasy about the film?  Well, apart from the fact that the movie's message is togetherness and family?  Apart from Neal Patrick Harris (as a straight guy pretending to be gay just to have sex with more women) doing a holiday musical special in 3D?  Apart from the stop motion scene that is an homage to the Rankin/Bass specials?  Apart from the whole plot being focused around finding a replacement Christmas tree so the inlaws don't kill you?  Uh... I got nothing.    But the movie is a lot of fun, it's very funny, and should be watched by everyone over 15 at least once.  Even if you hate stoner films.

15 Christmas Greats - #9, #8, and #7

#9 - Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

    Continuing on the 1990s Christmas movie binge, here's another one.  This one is sometimes overlooked in the Muppet movie canon.  It was the first Muppet film made after Jim Henson's sudden death in May of 1990, his son directing this one.  It was not the big hit Disney had hoped for when it was released for the 1992 Christmas season either, going up against Home Alone 2.  (Disney had bought Jim Henson Studios in 1989, and the Muppet characters with it.)  The film did okay critically, but I think that the Muppets were on the wane at the time, what with Henson's death a few years earlier and them having been off the television for years.  Still, it's a film worth seeing even if it isn't the crown jewel of the Muppet film crown.

     What we have here is yet another retelling of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol.  This time there are the human characters, which are the main characters of the film aside from Bob Cratchit, who is played by Kermit the Frog.  Ebenezer Scrooge is the great Michael Caine, Steven Mackintosh is his nephew Fred, Robin Weaver is Fred's wife, and Meredith Braun is Belle.  Besides a few town kids, the rest of the characters are played by muppets.  Miss Piggy is Mrs. Cratchit, Gonzo narrates as Charles Dickens, Statler and Waldorf are the Marley brothers, Fozzie is Fezziwig (here called Fozziwig of course), and Sam the Eagle is the schoolmaster from Scrooge's past.  This is the first time that humans were main protagonists alongside the muppets in a muppet film.  This way of doing the films has continued on in two of the three Muppet films made since this one.    As far as A Christmas Carol adaptations go, this one is pretty good.  It doesn't cut out as much as some adaptations, and the way they work in the songs is pretty great.  There was one song cut from the theatrical version of the film (and the latest blu-ray version) that they released when it was put on VHS.  Most people consider it an important part in the story, as it shows why Scrooge hates Christmas and why he's so mean.  And I agree.  It's also a pretty depressing song, showing how Scrooge and his betrothed break up over money.  How dare they cut out a song written by the great Paul Williams?!

         I don't really have much to say about this one, as I've already spoken of two other adaptations of A Christmas Carol.  It's a great family film and should be home in any Muppet-lover's collection.  I'll leave you with my favorite song in the film, sung by my favorite muppet characters, Statler and Waldorf.

#8 - Twilight Zone:  Night of the Meek (1960)

     Yeah, yeah.  I'm cheating a bit here.  This isn't a Christmas special or a Christmas film.  It's simply the one Christmas episode that was broadcast in the 5 season run of The Twilight Zone.  But it sure is a memorable, heartfelt episode.   Everyone should see this one at least once.  This story has Art Carney playing Henry Corwin, a drunkard who has a job playing Santa at a department store.  He's fired when he gets there an hour late.  He lives in the poor part of town where kids go hungry and everyone dresses in shabby clothes.  He yells out at his former manager that he wishes that if he had one wish he'd "like to see the meek inherit the earth!"  Despondent, he walks the streets and after being refused entry into a bar finds a large sack which produces anything anyone wants.  He spends the evening handing out gifts, for once happy that he's able to do some good for those that need it.  Sadly, those in power believe he's stolen the gifts from his old job and try to get him thrown in jail.  Don't worry folks.  It's a Christmas story.  Even in the Twilight Zone, those have happy endings.

    This is one of the most beloved Twilight Zone episodes, and for good reason.  It has the show's main plot point of ordinary people being put in extraordinary circumstances, getting their wish.  It has that supernatural aspect to it as well.  Most of all, it's good a lot of pathos to it.  It's a tearjerker of a story, yet empowering.  I guess in a way it's like It's A Wonderful Life, which itself could have been a Twilight Zone episode if you think about it.  The episode was written by show creator Rod Serling, who besides having a great speaking voice and a great business mind, also was a profound humanist and writer.  He wrote about a third of the show's stories and when you see this one, you'll realize why he's so highly regarded.  

     Since this show aired, a lot of films have taken the show's plot and morphed it a bit.  There's shades of The Santa Clause and Ernest Saves Christmas in this story too, even though this is definitely not a comedy.  You can view this episode for free on Amazon through streaming and I suggest you do so.  It'll only take 30 minutes.  You can find it in season 2.  Here's an early scene from the episode (the video quality isn't great because it's one of 6 Twilight Zone episodes to be filmed on video instead of film), which shows why this episode is so great.  I mean, he's fired by Piglet!

#7 - Home Alone/Home Alone 2 (1990/1992)

     Who doesn't love Home Alone that grew up in the 1990s?  Just as those that grew up in the 1980s had A Christmas Story (not a favorite of mine), and those that did so in the 2000s had Elf, we had the Home Alone films.  Heck, I even liked the third one!  (Not included here because I never found it Christmasy enough, and let's face it, it pales in comparison to the first two.)   This is the film that catapulted Macauley Culkin to stardom... for about five years.  Who could resist a movie about a cute mischievous little boy who's accidentally left alone at home while his family goes to France for Christmas?  Oh, and he's got to deal with burglars and a man who may be a killer lives on his street too.  It's pretty evident that John Hughes wrote this, isn't it?  What, that story's not enough?  How about two years later little Kevin gets on the wrong flight and ends up in New York while his family is in Florida?  (Man, this kid's got the worst parents in the world!  They should be up for child neglect charges!)  

     Let's talk about the first film.  It was an instant Christmas classic from the time it was released.  It conveyed the message that family is important around Christmas, even if you don't get along most of the time.  Sure, the traps Kevin sets for the Wet Bandits are way above a typical 10 year old's cognitive abilities, but they're funny to watch.  Who cares in that case?  It's implausable, but then again most films are.  If they were all truthful, they'd be boring as hell most of the time.  We see Kevin grow up a bit as he's left to fend for himself as the film goes on, and we see his mother try anything she possibly can to get back home to her son, because she feels (rightly) that it's all her fault.  It's rather heartwarming.  It helps that Catherine O'Hara is a wonderful comic actress who can do heartbreaking well too.  Even Culkin is a pretty good actor.  (Okay, so he didn't really have to emote.  So what?)  I mean, a young kid carries basically the whole movie on his own, with just a bit of help from the ever annoying Joe Pesci and the ever in pain Daniel Stern later in the film.  Those guys do slapstick so well it's a wonder Joe Pesci doesn't do it more. (Stern is better at it, though.)  By the end of the film the family gets back together and everyone now knows the meaning of togetherness at Christmas.  Awww....

    Now two years later, part 2 came out.  It's basically the same film as the first one was, with all the major cast from the first film returning as well.  However, this time Kevin is lost in New York City alone... with his dad's credit card.  (How very convenient, yes?)  Of course, the stakes are higher here as the Wet Bandits escaped jail and are also coincidentally in New York, and the consierge at the four star hotel that Kevin is staying at is a big snoop as well, knowing something odd is going on.  (It's the fantastic Tim Curry in that role, and it's one of my favorite of his. He's great at comedy and should do more of it.)  There's a lot of repeated jokes and lines from the first film, which kids like but film fans tend to groan at.  I must admit in this film, I like them.  The frail old man that Kevin is afraid of in the first film is replaced by a bird lady in this film who fills the same role-type here.  The film is still totally implausable, but it still works.  In fact, I like the second film more than the first one.  The film even has the same third act as the first one with Kevin setting traps for Marv and Harry.  This time, they tend to be even more painful though.  It got bad enough that Roger Ebert took offense at the violence.  "Cartoon violence is only funny in cartoons. Most of the live-action attempts to duplicate animation have failed, because when flesh-and-blood figures hit the pavement, we can almost hear the bones crunch, and it isn't funny."  He wasn't the only one that thought so either.  The film was attacked by concerned parents groups, as many films were in the early 90s.  

Here's one of my favorite parts from the second film.  It's one of those scenes which harkens back to the first film and the Angel With Dirty Souls scene with the tommy gun noises.

    It's a series of films that people of my generation should definitely show their kids.  Hell, watch it every Christmas with them.  They're great family films, great Christmas films, heck just great films period!

15 Christmas Greats - #11 and #10

#11 - Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

         There's a bit of a debate on whether this is a Christmas film or a Halloween one.  Perhaps it's both and should be viewed in November?  At any rate, I usually count it as a Halloween movie, but I'm in the minority on that.  And I can see why people would call it a Christmas film.  It's subject is Christmas, most of the movie either takes place preparing for or doing Christmas, and a secondary message of the film is that Christmas can't be ruined.

     The film came out in on October 29, 1993.  (See?  It is a Halloween film.)  I was eight years old when I saw it in theaters.  To tell you the truth, even though it had a scant 76 minute running time, I got bored around the halfway point.  (Although I was ADHD diagnosed, so that could be a reason.)   I still feel that the middle of the film does start to drag a bit from when he gets back from Christmas Town to when Jack starts to deliver the ghoulish presents.  Still, I can handle it better now and it's become a classic of sorts to my generation.  (No thanks to the emo/hipster types that about 7 years ago made me never want to see the movie again due to it's overmarketing to them.) 

     The film brings back memories of the Rankin/Bass holiday specials that came on from the 1960s to the 1980s like Rudolph, Mad Monster Party, Year Without A Santa Claus, Jack Frost, or Here Comes Peter Cottontail.  The film is, like those were, made of stop motion animation.  It is also holiday themed with catchy songs.  And the songs really hold this film together.  They were written by the great film score composer and member of Oingo Boingo, Danny Elfman.  He also provides the singing voice for Jack Skellington. (Chris Sarandon does the speaking voice.)  My favorite songs from the film are What's This?, Kidnap the Sandy Claws, Oogie Boogie's Song, and Making Christmas.  All of the songs have that trademark of Danny Elfman's early scores like Batman, Beetlejuice, and Scrooged.  There's a lot of tuba, harp, piano, and trombone in this soundtrack.  I also like the way Sally acts as a type of Cassandra figure in the film, and as a sort of Greek Chorus.

    But why is it a great Christmas film?  Well, I think it shows how odd the holiday really is when looked at from the outside, such as in the song 'What's This?'.  The song also shows, through what's shot, the difference between the dead fall/winter period of Jack's world (and ours in the few months leading up to the holiday) and the glowing lights, happiness, and lifefullness of Christmas. 

     It's become a classic, but a Christmas classic?  I'm not sure it's there yet for most, but for a lot of people it is.  So it belongs at #11 on this list.

#10 - The Santa Clause (1994)

    

    Another one from my childhood.  Is it sad the thing I remember most about this one is how long it took to come to home video?  The movie came out in theaters on November 11, 1994.  It took until the Christmas season the next year to come out on VHS.  That was a long wait for my sister and I, as we loved the film.  We still quote it all the time, as we do with many films, but I haven't actually watched the film in about seven years or so.  However I remember it very well as I watched it many many times when I was younger.  In fact, the movie is funnier now than it ever was when I was a child.  There's quite a few more adult jokes in the film that flew right over my head back then, and that's the mark of a great family comedy right there.  (See Rocko's Modern Life for more of that!)  For the nonexistent bunch of you who have never seen the film, here's the trailer so you can get the gist of the story.

    Now this one came out when Tim Allen was at his most popular, being in Home Improvement at the time.  If only Johnathan Taylor Thomas had been in it, it probably would have broken box office records.  And boy do I wish he was in it, because the son in this film you just want to do horrible things to.  He's so damned annoying.  However, he's not as annoying as he is in the two sequels.  Still, he's a whiny, petulant, sulky child throughout most of the film.  And he doesn't have one funny line or scene.  However, Tim Allen, Judge Reinhold, and David Krumholtz are at the top of their games here.  Each have quite a few funny scenes and make the movie enjoyable.  This is nothing like Tim Allen's recent stuff which has been god awful.  He's basically a really cynical version of Tim Taylor, his character from Home Improvement here, and it's great to see that cynicism melt as the story goes on and he becomes Santa.  Still, his son does bring the movie down, and I can't get over that.

     The movie is great because it deals not just with the whole doubting Santa phase that kids go through at least once before they learn the truth later on, but it's also a divorce/custody film and a mid-life crisis film.  Now, I must point out, because I find such subjects to be interesting, a part of the film that has been removed from recent home video versions of the film.  There's a part where Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) has a phone number given to him in case of emergencies by his wife.  He looks at it and says, "1-800-SPANKME?!  I know that number!"   Well, a kid called that number and racked up a $400 phone bill.  It's not a big removal, but I'm glad my family has the original VHS that has the line still in tact, as I hate censorship. 

     The early 90s was a good time for family-friendly comedy, even though most were poorly reviewed.  There's an absence of the genre today, and it's good to go back to the likes of The Santa Claus to remember it.  Sadly, none of the best scenes are on youtube, or I would have shared them.  No, only a few random ones were.  Ones that weren't indicative of the film.  So that's where I end this, sadly.

   

15 Christmas Greats: #13 and #12

#13 - Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)

     I know, a lot of people find Ernest P. Worrell to be dumb, annoying, unfunny, and... well, just plain stupid.  Well, he's three of those things, but I find the first few Ernest films to be quite funny.  And this is the best Ernest film, in my opinion.  Not only that, but it's a darn good Christmas film too.

    In this film Ernest is a cabdriver who happens to pick up Santa Claus.  Now Santa is not in his red suit, but looks like a regular old guy.  He's down in the United States to meet a guy who he thinks is just right to take over the job of being Santa Claus.  That person is a guy who did a children's TV show that was just recently cancelled, and who is now looking for other work as an actor.  Just as Santa is about to ask the guy to take over his job, the guy's douchebag agent blocks him from talking to the actor and has him thrown in jail as a crazy man.  Meanwhile Ernest has been fired because Santa didn't pay (he only had fake kid money) and Santa has left his Christmas sack in Ernest's cab.  So the girl and Ernest try to find Santa to give him his sack back.  After that, the three of them must convince the actor guy to become Santa and get him ready in time to start delivering stuff for Christmas.   Think of it as Mrs. Doubtfire meets The Santa Clause, but with a country yokel as the main character.

    This movie was a modest hit when it came out in 1988.  It was only the second Ernest film, and made 4 1/2 times the amount it cost to make.  Ernest films were family-friendly non-offensive entertainment.  They made very young kids laugh at Jim Varney's physical humor (and his two in-real-life buddies that were in most of the films are the funniest parts of the films, in my opinion), but adults were usually rolling their eyes at the stupid puns.  Never mind that, though.  This is a great Christmas film if nothing else.  It's not consistently funny, it's not too original, and it's probably not a movie that most children of today would care for.  However, to those of us that grew up with it coming on television or renting it on home video every Christmas season, it was great.  I don't think it's shown much anymore, but when I was 5-12 years of age, I watched it every year along with other Christmas traditionals.  The movie, as I said, isn't funny all the way through.  It is quite entertaining though.  The Santa in this film is amazing.  I agree with That Guy With The Glasses on this one in that he's probably one of the best ones on film.  He's so good, nice, and earnest (no pun there, folks).  He's not like the angry Santa we see in Rudolph or Santa Claus The Movie.  He has hope for everyone, and never once loses his temper.  The message the film gives about Christmas is also pretty good.  Still, the funny parts are pretty good when they work.

#12 - A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

     I'm sure a lot of you figured this one would be closer to the top of my list, but it's not one I really watched as a kid.  I always found it rather pedestrian and boring back then.  I did watch the 1992 Peanuts Christmas special every year or so though, as we had that one on VHS.  Let's just say there's a reason few remember it.  It was just a series of interconnected stories based on actual stories related to Christmas from the comic strip.  No, the 1965 one is the one to go for.  I think the difference is that the original special was made for families, the sequel for kids.  The special isn't all that funny, is very corny and preachy, and really is as trite as you can get for a Christmas special.  So why is it on my list?  It's all due to the making of the special and it's staying power throughout the years.  I may not understand the love for it, but it does fascinate me.

    The special was made on a very low budget, causing the production to be a bit sloppy (notice that Schroeder will stop playing his piano before the music ends), and the voices/sounds to be improperly recorded and mixed.  Peanuts creator Charles Schulz had full creative control over the special, which the studio bosses found quite frightening.   This was especially true for the following scene.

   No, it's not because there was a war on Christmas in 1965, it's merely due to the fact that he's quoting King James version scripture in something that the studio wanted to market to kids.  They figured kids didn't want to be preached to in a cartoon for Christmas.  Kids in this time period got that enough from the stop-motion show Davey and Goliath.  However, Schulz wanted kids to know the origin and true meaning of the holiday as he and a lot of America saw it.  To show that it wasn't about commercialism, greed, and lights.  That there was something that was being celebrated, that it was not just a meaningless celebration that it seemed to have become at the time, like Charlie Brown was annoyed at.   And this was with the show having corporate sponsers, which the special chastised.   The special also didn't use a comedy show laugh track, which was unheard of at the time, and used children to do the voices of the child characters, which was also unheard of.  So of course the studio, CBS, thought the special would flop and some thought the end of the Peanuts comic strip as well.  (Best try a Family Circus special next year folks!  /sarcasm\)   

    Well, what do they know....  The special was watched on about half of American televisions that night and has been critically hailed since.  It's a story of nothing going right, but still being successful, just like the story in the special itself!   No matter if you're indifferent to the special as I am, or love it, it's embedded in culture now.  The song Christmas Time Is Here, which is heard throughout malls, stores, and commercials was brought about in this special.  There's the image of the sad drooping Christmas tree burned into our memories.  The first live instance of the 'Snoopy Dance'.  It gave birth to 4 feature films, a tv show,  and over 40 TV specials featuring the Peanuts gang.  I'd say that's pretty darn successful and a good story even for a special that holds little appeal to me.